Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On
By Eleanor. Filed in General, Immediate |Tags: cosplay, depression, final fantasy, finances, gaming, health, home life, josh, knitting, meds, Work
Things are nutso.
Where do I begin? Let’s see….
I started taking Zoloft about two months ago. It helped TREMENDOUSLY. My confidence shot up, my social anxiety disappeared, the random feelings of hopelessness and bottomed out depression were gone. I hate admitting it, but they were like a miracle. I’m really anti-medicine when it comes to stuff like that, but I take back whatever shit I talked about the pills. They helped…..mostly. About three weeks ago I started experiencing some vivid dreams which made it difficult to stay asleep. I wasn’t left feeling too tired in the morning, so I just shrugged it off. Then the vivid dreams turned into the most vivid, terrifying, violent and gory nightmares I have ever experienced in all my life. I dreaded going to sleep, once I fell asleep I never slept well and whatever feelings of terror I experienced in my nightmares, I carried over into the next day for hours on end. It got to the point where I needed to write them down to be able to mentally let them go. I had to get off Zoloft. It was killing me despite how much it was relieving my symptoms. So now I’m on Lexapro, another SSRI. So far, so good. In one week I’ve had one vivid dream, zero nightmares, and I’m sleeping just fine.
Josh got fired last Thursday. For being 1 minute late. It’s retarded. Things were going well for us financially. We finally had about $1,000 in savings. We’ll be eating into that now. Sigh. If not one thing, it’s another, eh? In the meantime, we’ve removed Amelia from preschool and he’s watching her. We’ll see what happens. This could be life altering…
I’m knitting a lot. And playing FFXIII. Loving both. Okay, okay, so I’ve been frustrated with my current knitting project, but I’m super close to the end and therefore am over the hump of hating it. It’s too cute to hate. I’ll post pictures as soon as it’s complete. As for FFXIII, gorgeous. I have a major crush on Lightning. Swoon.
I’m eating healthy! This is crazy! Started Monday. No more McDonald’s, no more chips for breakfast (this has been my breakfast 5 days a week for over a year), and after my morning soda I’m having water for the rest of the day. It’s crappy, but I’m sure my innards with thank me some day.
I really want a nice sewing machine so I can make cosplay outfits.
More later, silly work.
